Saturday was hard. It was one of those days as a mom that was just, plain and simple, hard. Finn only took a 20 minute (instead of 1-2 hour) morning nap. Starting around 11:30am the tiredness and fussiness kicked in and I knew right then it was going to be a bad day. He fought his afternoon nap for THREE hours. Rocking, crying it out, driving, bottle, nothing worked. He refused to go to sleep and had let himself get so overtired that he couldn’t fall asleep. My entire afternoon was spent listening to him cry and trying to get him to just take his nap. I mean, I would have given anything to sleep, why did he have to fight it so hard? When I finally did get him to sleep around 3:30pm, he only slept for 15 minutes and woke up and we started the whole process over again. It was exhausting. And I was mad. I was mad because Ben and I had plans to have some beers together during the Ohio State game that afternoon while Finn napped and happily played with his toys, and instead my entire day was spent just trying to keep Finn calm. I didn’t watch the game. I didn’t enjoy a beer. I didn’t get quiet and alone time with Ben. And it was a bad day. I made my mind up starting at 11:30am that it was going to be a bad day based on how Finn was acting.
Of course he wouldn’t go down for his afternoon nap, it was my bad day. Of course there’s no time to watch the game, it’s my bad day. Of course we’re out of Michelob Ultra and I have to drink the craft beer we have leftover in the fridge, it’s my bad day. Of course the shirt I wanted to wear that evening was dirty, I’m having a bad day remember? Nothing was going to go as planned today because starting at 11:30am, my day was going to suck. I just knew it. Finn has been sleeping through the night lately but Saturday night he was up every 2 hours. Why? Yep, you guessed it. I was having a bad day! Why would anything go the way I wanted it to?
When I woke up yesterday morning, I felt guilty for acting so negative the previous day. For being a pretty laid back person, I still surprise myself with how dramatic I can sometimes be. I mean, was the world going to end because we were out of Michelob Ultra? No. Did I act like it was going to end? Absolutely. So I decided at 6am with Finn’s bright and early wakeup call that today was going to be a good day. Even if my plans get altered and I don’t get to watch the Steelers game. Even if Finn fights all of his naps and is fussy. Even if I don’t get as much time with Ben as I hoped for, it was going to be a good day.
As it turns out, Finn went down great for his morning nap and slept almost two hours. He ate lunch great, took a two hour afternoon nap at my mom’s house so I was able to watch the Steelers game with friends, and was happy as a peach all evening playing with Ben and I. He didn’t sleep through the night but that’s to be expected because he hates letting his mom sleep. Overall, it was an awesome day. Was it awesome because I had made my mind up it was going to be awesome? Maybe. But even if he didn’t nap well, even if I didn’t do exactly what I wanted that day, in my mind, I was still going to make the most of it.
It might be because I am reading Girl, Wash Your Face right now, and I’m being reminded that your mentality and outlook on your day/life plays a huge part in how your day/life goes. Was my “bad day” on Saturday really that bad? No. I could have been happy that Ben was home from football 2 hours early and was able to spend more time with us, but I looked past that because Finn was cranky. I could have been happy the Buckeyes won, but I was mad because I didn’t get to watch it. I could have been happy that I have 1000000 billion shirts in my closet to wear, but I was pissed because the ONE I did want to wear was dirty. I could have been happy that I have a healthy and beautiful baby boy, but I was salty that he didn’t sleep all night. You can’t have a bad day unless your mind tells you it’s a bad day. Saturday could have been the best day of my life if I looked at all the positives it brought, but instead it was the worst day because I made it the worst day at 11:30 that morning when I told myself it was going to be.
It makes me wonder how many “bad days” and pity parties we allow ourselves to have. If we could just train our brains to be more positive and look at the bigger picture, I bet we would have zero bad days. You can’t have a bad day unless YOU let it happen. Yes, you can have shitty things happen to you and have things not go the way you want, but that doesn’t make them bad. Perception is reality and if you perceive the day or the season or the year you are having as good, I bet overall it’s pretty good. If you make your mind up that you’re having a bad day, I bet you find every single negative thing wrong that you can and let it ruin what could have otherwise been a great day. Next time you find yourself in that mindset, try being more positive. Stop seeing yourself as the victim of your own pity party. You can’t change the situation or the things that happen to you, but you can change your attitude about it. And you’d be surprised how much changing your attitude, in turn, changes how you feel about the situation.